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Joke of the Day

"My Asian friend said he had erection anxiety... I said: ""what do you mean?"" He said: ""I don't want to see the dick rise to power."""

"Some friends, a lesbian couple... bought me an antique gold fob timepiece for my birthday. I think they mistook me when I said ""I wanna watch""."

"I'm not heartless, I've just learned how to use my heart less..."

"Can't believe New Zealand are introducing a new flag just as I finished memorising the old one."

"Twitter updated their Terms of Service. Now it just says ""Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here."""

"Did you hear about the failed Origami shop? If folded."

"A schizophrenic soldier took an enemy battalion prisoner. It was easy, he had them surrounded."

"Where do tech guys with diarrhea go to work? IBM"

"Sometimes I tell my Then I laugh at them."

"What do you get if you breed a Green Lantern, a car and an atheist? Willing suspension of disbelief"