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Joke of the Day

"I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: ""None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."""

"Fun Fact: Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act because he thought it would prevent the McCallisters from leaving Kevin home alone again."

"They say puns are bad to bring up during gay sex... Butt fuck that."

"How can you tell a skinhead is shaved down there When the carpet matches the drapes"

"Pedophile Jokes? I got 3: If they can cross the street they can take the meat. If they can pee they're old enough for me. I'm like a game boy, kids turn me on. You guys got any others?"

"If your name got called on The Price is Right, it'd be fun to scream, jump up and down, and then run full speed out of the studio"

"Two antenna's fell in love and got married. The actual wedding wasn't that good but the reception was excellent."

"Whenever I walk into a crowded men's room, I shout So this is where all the dicks hang out!"

"If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive... ...they would eventually find me attractive."

"My favorite sexual position is the JFK... It's where I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car."