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Joke of the Day

"Why are men better swimmers than women they are part sperm"

"Terrible news. The guy who created AMC cinema's has died. His funeral is next Friday at 2:30, 5:20 and 7:45."

"if u think ur house is haunted get a cat. whooshing sound? it's the cat. hear footsteps? def the cat. unseen being devouring your soul? cat."

"I've started seeing someone about my porn addiction. Her name's Brandy."

"It's My First Cake Day and I'm Scrambling. How Does Moses Make his Tea? He Brews It!"

"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen"

"What does a West Virginia woman say after sex? Git off me Pa, you're squishing my smokes."

"What would you call Hispanics if everyone in the world were completely equal? Equatinos"

"LG is like XDA... ... they release a phone and they go like ""Any problems? You tell me""."

"I met a guy from Seattle on the chairlift when skiing today... I asked him if he wanted to do a run and he replied, ""No thanks, I'll pass."""