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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor was going out of town and asked if I'd feed their cat. I said sure... ...to what?"

"Whats the difference between light and hard? You can sleep with a light on."

"The boomerang is Australia's chief export (and then import)"

"Never understood the desperation behind placing ur order in English at KFC/McD. Heard a guy practicing his order while sanding in the queue."

"I hate it when crazy people say Poseidon told them they are the ninja turtles and I don't even remember I told them so."

"An atheist, a crossfitter, and a vegan are all sitting at a bar... His name is Chaz."

"What is red and crawls up your leg? An abortion with homesickness."

"I almost took part in a gangrape with some friends Good thing I'm faster than them"

"What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you."

"And what's your name?"" the secretary asked the next new boy. ""Butter."" ""I hope your first name's not Roland"" smirked the secretary. ""No ma'am. It's Brendan."""