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Joke of the Day

"What separates man from animal? Divorce."

"My apathy is at an all time whatever."

"[Walks in on girlfriend on death bed] ME: [Crying] this can't be happening GRIM REAPER: Dude, I can explain. She totally came on to me"

"We have a genetic predisposition for diarrhea Runs in our jeans."

"So, I was sitting on a train across from a beautiful Thai girl. And all I could think was ""Don't get a boner. Don't get a boner."" And then she did."

"What's the difference between a herpes and jacuzzi? i let women know that i have a jacuzzi"

"Me have great grammar... Me learnt everything I know from Sesame Street!"

"This girl on Facebook is dying her hair blonde tonight. Omg she's nervous, you guys."

"Did you know that Dublin, CA has the fastest growing population of all time? The populations always Dublin'. :D"

"im the guy responsible for throwing the chicken in the air for fried chicken commercials. i will never reveal my secret method's"