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Joke of the Day

"""doctor, help! my son shattered one of his kneecaps!"" it's ok, the human body can survive on one kid-knee"

"Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied."

"At the bar I got into a factual debate with another patron. He pulled the ""I have a PhD"" card. Now he has a PhD AND a fork in his eye."

"Why did the trout leave the cult? They were too sacrifishal"

"A black kid asks his father"

"LPT: Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine into your brain,and that's where shitty ideas come from."

"Another bunny"

"My phone changed 'loud' to 'logs' so I ""laughed out logs"" at a friend's joke. I mean, I did poop a little, BUT HOW DID MY PHONE KNOW?"

"Kim Jong Un is 30, runs a dictatorship, executes ex-girlfriends, and openly threatens to annihilate the US. What am I doing with MY life?"

"Are babies like tamagotchis? Like, will my friend take care of it if I forget it at her house?"