225981
Joke of the Day
"If not for the cowardly actions of John Wilkes Booth, Abraham Lincoln would have turned 207 today."
Next Joke
"My boss said to ""treat customers like you treat your mother"", so I haven't answered my phone in a month and I have 74 unheard voicemails."
"My doctor diagnosed me with schizophrenia and ADHD. Which means I hear voices but not for long enough to drive me insane."
"Google Glass, for everyone who's ever thought, ""I like that browser so much, I want it on MY FACE"""
"USA to Russia:"" What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner? ""Turkey"""
"Someone was told me that they were an actor. I told them I wanted coconut milk in my chai latte."
"Gay pickup line Shit gurl, are you a chiropractor? Cause you straighten me out."
"Know what they call the useless skin around a vagina? A woman."
"If ever you're feeling down, and I can't be there to do it in person, just imagine me awkwardly patting your shoulder & looking at my watch."
"A Chemistry Degree is like an awesome girlfriend, because you get anal before getting physical."