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Joke of the Day

"What's the best way to cheer on an electrician? You con-du-it!!!"

"Why are grapes so fun to go clubbing with? Because they're always raisin the roof."

"I used to think my drawings made me autistic... it turns out my Grandma was just from Boston."

"If you think you could never kill another human being, you haven't met enough people."

"Yes officer, I did hit a pedestrian, but instead of dwelling on that why not focus on how many I've missed?"

"What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund? A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money"

"How do you know you're at a redneck wedding? Everybody is sitting on the same side of the church"

"Whoever called it rush hour should not be allowed to name anything else."

"The 4 Stages of Going Out Drinking: 1. Why do I do this to myself 2. This isn't so bad 3. WE SHOULD DO THIS MORE OFTEN 4. Why do I do this to myself"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you stole daddys car! Why you steal daddys car?! (chappie joke I stole from youtube)"