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Joke of the Day

"Why do tennis players never get married? Because Love means nothing to them."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" lol wtf ""wait its back on again nvm"" ok lmao ""he just stole my nose"" im phoning the police"

"[bleeding out] ER Doctor: do you know your blood type? ME: I've never really thought about it TBH. As long as it has a good personality"

"A crow once made plans to hang out with me, but he never showed up... ... because he got arrested for attempted murder."

"I went into a bar and ordered a Bin Laden Two shots and splash of water."

"There has to be a line where 9/11 jokes aren't funny anymore... For me it's somewhere around the 70th floor. I'm sorry, I know that was terrible. I'll see myself out."

"Dick van Dyke's surgery Welcome to Dick van Dyke's surgery! I'm afraid it's bad news. You've got supercalifragilisticextreme-halitosis."

"This is the funniest joke you'll ever read, I promise! [removed]"

"Q: What did the leprotic john say to the hooker? A: Keep the tip."

"Mentos should print little messages on their mints like ""you're awesome"" or ""looking good"" and call them Complimentos."