225849

Joke of the Day

"knife on a date When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like ""oh yeah this makes sense."""

"Two fish are sitting in a a tank. One says to the other, ""You get the guns. I'll drive."""

"What is a long distance love? It's when you're in the office, bed is at home and whiskey is in the bar."

"I just saw a man pick up a screaming child and take her to his van. Man, kids are getting carried away these days."

"I been working on my summer bod: it the same as my regular body, but this time more popsackles in it."

"A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says ""get out!"""

"I tried to eat a clock once... But it was very time consuming"

"My new favorite sex position is called ""wow"". It's where I turn your mom upside down."

"Damn girl, are you an old ATM touchscreen? 'Cause I'm pushing ALL the wrong buttons."