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Joke of the Day

"*at a loud house party* Is this your- I SAID IS THIS YOUR HOUSE? I NOTICED THE DOG BOWL. WHERE IS HE OR SHE, I'D LIKE TO PET HIM OR HER"

"Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?"

"Why do bald guys cut holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."

"A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..."

"To the middle-aged guy in front of me at the bookstore buying several martial arts books: Is that even legal with your lack of ponytail?"

"What did the doctor say to the witch in hospital? With any luck you'll be able to get up for a spell."

"Why is it called a ""network of computers streaming Disney movies to cows"" and not ""Moo-LAN"""

"What do a 9 volt battery and a hot chick's asshole have in common? You know you shouldn't but you are going to put your tongue on it eventually."

"Donald Trump doesn't like Mexicans, and I'm terrible with timed writing prompts. I guess we have similar opinions... We both hate ese's."

"What did a confused Mexican alphabet say? K"