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Joke of the Day

"You can tell a lot by the way a woman walks. Like if she walks away, she's probably not into you."

"The softest type of toilet paper is cats."

"What hairstyle does Christopher Nolan get at the barber? A director's cut"

"I bought a 5 gallon drum of correction fluid the other day. Big mistake."

"How can you spot a vegan in a crowded lunch hall? Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!"

"All i'm saying is, before Back to the Future 3, he was fine."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One's a bit heavy, the others a little lighter."

"THERAPIST: how do you feel ME: with my hands THERAPIST: no, like on the inside ME: ohhh...idk probably kinda squishy and weird"

"What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients? At your cervix, m'lady"

"What do you call an Englishman with no butt? An assless chap."