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Joke of the Day

"A pickup like I thought of when i was younger. If I was a duck and you were a fish, and we were swimming in the same pond, what would that make me? On top of you."

"How do you measure a Lego figure's shoe size? In square feet."

"Q: What's the difference between Bill Clinton and David Koresh? A: Koresh only burned 85 people."

"[drunk w/ 2 kittens at a bar] give me another ""haven't u had enough?"" i'll tell u when i've had enough! *bartender hands me another kitten*"

"Chicago's a dangerous place. Last time I visited I stole two cars and a lady's purse."

"Where do you find the best tofu in the entire world?"

"What did the Leper say to the hooker? Keep the tip."

"Finish this thought A man lands on his driveway, gets out of his spaceship, enters his home to find..."

"why send male soldiers into war women on there period is good enough"

"A kiss makes my whole day Anal makes my hole weak"