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Joke of the Day

"I got fired from my job.. ..for being a pervert I don't understand why, though, I'm always hard at work."

"You can only regret what you remember. -Tequila"

"what's pink and hard?... Micheal Jackson...still."

"People call me the most disoriented U-boat captain of the 20th century... Oops wrong sub."

"I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small."

"What's the fastest curry in the world? Usain Balti.."

"Why are feet so funny? Because they're ""heel areas"" ... I'll show myself out"

"What do you call a Trump wall that's politically corrupt? A gate."

"I always write great unit tests Wouldn't want a careless bug to crash one of my viruses."

"A nurse goes to sign a discharge form and pulls a rectal thermometer out of her pocket. 'Oh great, some arsehole's got my pen.'"