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Joke of the Day

"How crazy is it that we used to say ""three and a half inch floppy"" with a straight face"

"Some women have names that simply demand respect. The few. The proud. The Maureens."

"Shit happens. Just flush the toilet and move on."

"A Russian, visiting the USA, went for an eye check up. The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY Doctor: Can you read this ? Russian: Read ??? I even know the guy, he's my cousin."

"How did the love seat get pregnant? Because the couch didn't pull out."

"Want to hear a joke? Women's Rights"

"I hate when someone texts me cause then I can't post anything on the internet or they'll know I'm ignoring them."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but god-knows how they got in there. EDIT: [IMAGE HERE](http://i.imgur.com/1v6wJu5.jpg)"

"My girlfriend is ridiculously good at deepthroating... It's actually not that great because she only gets to do it when she cheats on me with black guys."

"On a scale of 1-10 how retarded do you think we, as humans, are? 9/11"