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Joke of the Day

"Who is the coolest guy in the Hospital? A. The Ultra Sound guy. Q. Who is the second coolest? A. The Hip replacement dude."

"If John Cena lost in Baltimore at Payback, the city might riot. WWE wouldn't want that. Never give up"

"Girls love it when guys: - are respectful - are handsome - eat watermelon really fast and spit out the seeds like a machine gun"

"Some days I'm more on than off, but most days I'm just a moron."

"I haven't talked to my wife for 18 months I don't like to interrupt her."

"What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes ? A swine gut !"

"Stuff I think about... I've often wondered what would happen if a Schizophrenic took a multi-vitamin. I have many more of these posers I may or may not post...."

"What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dictator."

"I didn't know when your wedding was because you spelled out the date and time like a goddamn medieval sorcerer."

"John Madden just died from a heart attack what, you thought this was a joke? the guy's fat and old."