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Joke of the Day

"Two women were sitting quietly..."

"Arguing on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics Even if you win, you're still fucking retarded."

"Hey cell phone companies, I can't think of a more terrifying selling point than ""Unlimited Talk."""

"Fuck the man And make him a sandwich."

"Why did the bee get married? He found his honey!"

"I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong."

"I used to watch lots of Bruce Willis movies, but now I don't. I guess old habits Die Hard. ^Someone ^please ^slap ^me. ^EDIT: ^Even ^better, ^this ^was ^a ^shower ^thought ^too..."

"A man's penis enters the Guinness Book of Records... then the librarian told him to take it out."

"I cut myself shaving today... because who has time to do both?"

"What's the difference between a feminist and a battery? Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/how_many_feminists_does_it_take_to_change_a/"