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Joke of the Day

"Two women were sitting quietly..."

"Did you hear about the man running a marathon on the afghanistan border? He actually went 3 miles further... I guess Iran* a little too far *I'm pronouncing it ""e-ran"""

"Question to a crying child Q: Why did the drunken father go to jail? A: Beats me"

"Anyone who feels bad about dumping a huge national debt on the next generation hasn't spent a lot of time around teenagers."

"How did David Copperfield get HIV? From doing Magic."

"Old classic light bulb. How many people on a beach does it take to screw in a light bulb? depends on how many survivors there are. too soon."

"Should I ever go missing, please don't let the news use my 7th grade picture."

"What does a Bears fan do when his team wins the Superbowl? He turns off his Xbox, and goes to bed."

"CASHIER: its declined ME: run it again C: sir, is this one of those fake credit cards they mail out ME: no C: your name is ""local resident""?"

"My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown."