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Joke of the Day

"My nephew got me with this one He said ""they've been together for 15 years."" When I asked who, he said ""DEEZ NUTSS"""

"Next time you kill thousands of innocent people in a disaster, tell the judge you ""work in mysterious ways"" and see how far it gets you."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? You follow the fresh prints."

"Chimps Broke Out of Ferguson Zoo Apparently they're starting fires across town."

"What do you call the day before Christmas Eve? Christmas Adam"

"A man approached Bernard on the street.. Bernard was strollin' down the street when a man approached him asking ""Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?"" Bernard pushed him under a truck..."

"My 4 year old refused his dinner but it's ok because I caught him eating a Milkbone earlier"

"I always wanted to marry a girl with nice big melons... Too bad she cantalope :("

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking. Jk rowling"

"What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One's a scum-sucking bottom-feeder, and the other's a fish."