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Joke of the Day

"A man approached Bernard on the street.. Bernard was strollin' down the street when a man approached him asking ""Which is the quickest way to reach the hospital?"" Bernard pushed him under a truck..."

"When anyone says they've embarrassed themselves enough for one day, I smile, nod and think 'that kind of limit sounds nice'"

"I love my wife dearly, but she just used the word ""whatevs"" for the first time, so 17 years. It's been a good run."

"Girl: How much is a soft drink ? Waitress: Fifty cents. Girl: How much is refill ? Waitress: The first is free. Girl: Well then I'll have a refill."

"I had a racing snail... To make him more aero-dynamic I took off its shell. If anything it made him more sluggish"

"When life hands you 2 Lemons 1 cup sugar 2 tbsp flour 3 tbsp cornstarch 1 cup water 2 tbsp butter 4 eggs 1 pie crust you make lemon meringue"

"Did you hear about the snail who bought himself a Ferrari and painted a big yellow ""S"" on the side? Now wherever he drives, people watch and say ""Look at that S-car go!"""

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber He had Loco motives"

"""making decisions"" Teacher: Do you have trouble making decisions? . Student: Well...yes and no."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ? Butcher your arms around me !"