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Joke of the Day

"My body looks as if it were chiseled from marble I'm not muscular whatsoever I'm just really white."

"Peanuts Two peanuts are walking down the street, one was assaulted... ...peanut."

"Help! My Wife left me for my best friend And I miss him..."

"I like to have sex in the kitchen so she doesn't have to walk to far to make me a sandwich after. You know, because I'm a gentleman."

"In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth."

"Hooters finally hired me but I have to wear a smock to cover up my weird nipples"

"What do you call one of Santa's helpers? A subordinate clause"

"What instrument was the predecessor to the tuba? The oneba"

"""6-6x6 = ?"" Little hint: It is not 32 Edit: It gets funnier the longer you wait"

"How are women and tornadoes alike? They are both loud as fuck when they come, they take the house when they leave."