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Joke of the Day

"Why are your eyes covered in ketchup? I'm often asked by people: ""Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?"" So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20."

"What do the mafia and a women's pussy have in common? One slip of the tongue and you're in deep shit."

"I think the large hand on my watch is lagging. Sloppy seconds"

"I guess it was George Michaels...... Last Christmas."

"Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras? If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies."

"What do fish do when they have cancer? Nemotherapy"

"Someone asked me the other day whole my favorite superhero is... I said that I thought iceman was pretty cool"

"Dont eat yourself A woman: She is eating dinner and she accidentally bites her lip. A man: Your not suppose to eat yourself. The woman: Well that's your job"

"Did you hear about the Mexican train robber He had Loco motives"

"I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia where I deny the existence of certain 80s bands. there is no cure."