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Joke of the Day
"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."
Next Joke
"The best joke ever created. Feminism."
"If you don't like where you are in your life ~ Then move you are not a tree"
"I wonder if anyone besides me has the bumper sticker, ""Proud parent of your wife's kid."""
"So your face, is it permanently like that or are you genuinely surprised every time you take a selfie?"
"Every time you push the potato button on your microwave, a potato appears in someone else's microwave."
"Two six year olds are walking to school Boy: this morning, my daddy found two used condoms in our patio. Girl : what's a patio ?"
"People need to learn how to take a compliment... Just today I complimented the most epic mustache I've ever seen and the lady didn't even say thanks."
"Why was Twelve running from Seven? Because Seven had a fucking rocket launcher!"
"There was a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray He's now a seasoned veteran."