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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a gun and amnesia? Oh shoot, I forgot..."

"I raise the bar when it comes to lowering standards."

"I accidentally wet the bed I share with my girlfriend.... She's still pissed"

"Brutally honest? I'm always honest ... I guess the brutality would depend on your level of aversion to the truth"

"Apparently Pound Town is NOT a British dollar store"

"Ramen again? This guy's a mess. -mice in my kitchen"

"There's safety in numbers. Unless there's 6,000,000 of you. And you're all Jews."

"I've just found out I can have sex at 65 I live at number 59 so it's only a short walk!"

"How does Justin Beiber remove a condom? He farts."

"No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy."