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Joke of the Day

"No matter which kids book I read to my screaming baby on an airplane, the moral of the story is always something about a vasectomy."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no-eye-deer"

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my cock in your ass"

"An avocado-wife is giving her husband the silent treatment Husband: ""I said you were the good kind of fat!"""

"When will Cameron stop fucking with the system? when pigs fly"

"How sure are we that one of Nicki Minaj's parents isn't just a stick of cotton candy?"

"Q: When will there be a woman in the White House? A: When Hillary leaves town."

"More of a riddle, actually. I happen once a year, but twice a week. You can easily find me in a store, but you won't see me in a mall. What am I?"

"Did you hear about the engineer who was trying to truncate a table? They say his technique was cutting-edge"

"What did the chronic masturbator say to his ex-girlfriend? I'm nuttin' without you."