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Joke of the Day

"Art imitates life. Imitation is the highest form of flattery. Flattery will get you nowhere. So GOOD LUCK WITH THAT ART DEGREE!"

"Friends are like boobs. You've got small ones, big ones, real ones, and fake ones."

"My friend, Manuel, is a magician... His favorite trick is to announce ""I'm going to disappear on the count of three."" He then counts ""Uno, dos..."" then vanishes without a tres."

"HR called me in today and told me I have a bad attitude. So they're transferring me over to IT and giving me a raise."

"People are like trees, they'll fall down if you hit them multiple times with an axe."

"I was doing a crossword and asked my Jamaican friend for help I asked him, ""Hey, what's a 10 letter word for colossal or huge?"" He said, ""Monumental!"" I replied, ""No, I'm not."""

"Have you ever had sex while camping? Is fucking intense..."

"Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW"

"WinRar is not free software."

"I look in a mirror and wonder what became of the eager, wide-eyed boy with the world in front of him, then figure by the size of me I ate him."