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Joke of the Day

"Girl, are your legs tired? Cuz you were running through my dreams all night and you did some amazing parkour & also kicked a judge to death."

"What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist? ""We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners."" This is a joke take it that way"

"Amazon Prime is seriously way better than Netflix. I love it almost as much as my Zune."

"Why don't Junior League debutantes like group sex? Too many Thank You notes to write."

"I went to a peanut factory last week. It was nuts!"

"Why are black crimes hard to solve? Because they're all criminals and they look the same."

"Knock Knock ""Who's There?"" ""Dwayne."" ""Dwayne who?"" ""Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwowning!"""

"To back up his ""every action has an equal and opposite reaction"" theory, Newton should've released one simultaneously saying ""no it doesn't"""

"Why does Donald Trump dislike Bernie Sanders? Chickens tend to avoid anything with the last name ""Sanders""."

"I made a gaffe about birth complications Well, that came out wrong."