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Joke of the Day

"After living in terror for 27 years, Gloria Estefan's threat is realized; I open my car door, and am brutally attacked by the rhythm."

"Rich people have rehab. Poor people have jail."

"Just once I'd like to wake up as eager to start the day as my p*nis is."

"I put the 'extra vag' in extravaganza"

"American Pharoah wins the Triple Crown, this is a historic moment... It's been 37 years since someone owned horse semen this valuable."

"Advertising for a babysitter Apparently, saying I prefer the babysitter not have a gag reflex isn't as appropriate as it seemed when I wrote the ad."

"My doctor recommended that I stay away from trans fats I should stop using recipes from tumblr."

"Hitler was argueably the greatest person that ever lived... I mean he did kill Hitler"

"Phones these days are so expensive... If you fall and hear a crack, you hope you broke your leg."

"My friend asked me if goldfish suffer from depression i said ""Yes, but very briefly..."""