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Joke of the Day

"How do you make the best Harlem Shake video? You throw a flashbang into a room of epileptic children."

"What's the difference between Terri Schiavo and donald trump? One of them is a racist carrot"

"Kraft have just opened up a new factory in Jerusalem... They've called it 'Cheeses of Nazareth'."

"When I die I want to be be reincarnated as a spider. Just so I can finally hear a women say ""Oh my God, it's huge!"""

"What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse? A stalemate."

"''Ah fuck it"" -Me. Making decisions."

"conjunctivitis.com Now that's a sight for sore eyes."

"prayers by believers to a ""Sweet Jesus"" imply additional deities: Sour Jesus, Salty Jesus, Umami Jesus and, most frighteningly, Bitter Jesus"

"What do you call a black man on the moon?... A problem. 2 black men on the moon? A bigger problem. All the black men on the moon? Problem solved!"

"If you come across a stranger in a dark alley immediately hug him so he knows you're not a threat."