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Joke of the Day

"What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse? A stalemate."

"Q: What did the carpenters call their brass quartet? A: The Tuba Four"

"So I'm making a Marvin Gaye tribute band... We're gonna be called 'Marvin Gayer'."

"Why is Donald Trump such a surprise? People did Nazi him coming."

"My alarm clock isn't in a good mood... It just went off on me"

"""Kiss me"", moaned the attractive blonde... ""Absolutely not"", replies her doctor. ""It would be most unprofessional of me. In fact, I probably shouldn't even be fucking you!"""

"Don't you hate when someone without kids tells you how to parent? I think I know how much alcohol my kids can handle."

"'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, everyone was screaming... Just cuz I went into the wrong house."

"What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla? The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year."

"TIFU by being Cuban and attending Fidel Castro's funeral. Now the FBI lists me as ""public enemy number Juan""."