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Joke of the Day

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend, unless it's one of those half-wits who always says ""ironic"" when they mean coincidental."

"Did you see the headline about Mayweather being afraid to go outside in the heat? ""Mayweather May Weather May Weather"""

"What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence? A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause."

"Retweeting a compliment is like getting a compliment from someone and then conference calling a bunch of people and telling them about it."

"Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 7 They go after the guy who has killed 1000s of turtles The Ninja Turtles corner him Mario jumps on them all"

"My dream guy is hot, funny and smart. And he'll ask me to marry him with a green lantern ring. And he has powers. And a castle. And Yoshi."

"Why are bananas so popular? Because they have appeal"

"What's the difference between a pizza and a gym teacher? A pizza can actually feed a family of four."

"I was asked by a feminist how I viewed lesbian relationships.. ""In HD"" was NOT the right answer..."

"Yo mama is so classless... Yo mama is so classless that Marx thinks she's an ideal society."