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Joke of the Day
"IF attacked by Clowns ... Go for the Juggler!"
Next Joke
"What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl? A cock that stays up all night long"
"If someone who speaks 2 languages is Bilingual, whats someone who speaks 1 called? American. EDIT: My first post on Reddit and I get 1000+ up votes, thanks so much!!!"
"Bought a 2nd cell phone to leave on the coffee table as a decoy when I go tweet in the bathroom."
"What do you call it when you hire your relatives to play with your nipples? Nippletism"
"I carry around a note in my wallet that says, ""The curse must be passed, I'm so sorry"" in case it's ever stolen."
"How can you tell what rank a Russian soldier is? Count the stripes on his track pants."
"If you can't stand behind our troops, feel free to to stand in front of them!"
"Who died and left America in charge? Hitler."
"Cruz picked Fiorina as his running mate. She probably gives better head than Kasich."