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Joke of the Day

"Walked by a restaurant where they were using iPads for menus. How cheap are iPads now? More importantly, how expensive are menus?"

"Me: coming to the office Xmas party? Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look"

"Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th? Because Rudolph is the only deer leader at Christmas."

"What do they say about Podiatrists? It's a really big feet to become one. ^Hehehehehe"

"Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake? To a weterinarian!"

"I could be subtweeting my cat for all you know. Calm down."

"Wives are magicians They can turn anything into an argument."

"What was the last thing that the homeless man heard before becoming a giant? Go big or go home"

"I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now."

"Beer before liquor, never sicker. Toothpaste before orange juice, dead."