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Joke of the Day

"Walked by a restaurant where they were using iPads for menus. How cheap are iPads now? More importantly, how expensive are menus?"

"My wife is upset we can't afford a vacation this year because I kept paying the kids to behave while I was driving"

"You've probably heard of Davy Jones' locker, but do you know who Davy Jones is? He's a Sea-Monkee."

"UPCOMING JESUS APPERANCES 8/3 Pancake, Norfolk, VA 8/10 Cheeto, Salem, OR 8/19 Window stain, Orem, UT 8/23 Vegemite Jar, Perth, AU"

"Here's a 'Frozen' joke that I heard from an eight year old Knock knock *Who's there?* You *[You who?](http://memecrunch.com/meme/1MG0Q/big-summer-blowout/image.png)*"

"Have you seen the movie - Constipated? No? Why? Cause it hasn't come out yet!"

"You must work at subway...cause you`re givin` me a foot long."

"hmmm public speakimg clases..? well do u hav private speakimg clases? bc i hav a secret *leans in close to u* I NEVER LEARNED HOW TO WHISPER"

"What do you mean I've had enough to drink?!! Hold my beer while I fight this lamppost."

"That feeling when you think someone's smiling at you but it's actually directed at someone behind you is the way I feel all the time"