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Joke of the Day

"I'm on the bus now. Either the woman sitting right next to me has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokemons."

"What was the car doing in the dressing room? Changing attire."

"Where did the dog breeder keep his savings ? In bark-lays bank !"

"I put my earbuds on just like everybody else. Frantically as someone approaches."

"moron: ""duhh, i hate taco bell, every time i go there i get diarrhea"" me: try getting tacos instead, genius"

"I hate being happy because it makes my tweets suck."

"Why do engineers mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because OCT 31=DEC 25"

"Donald Trump's campaign is basically that thing where you say the wrong answer in Pictionary then just keep saying it louder and louder"

"Every Political Ad Ever: I'm a rich guy who's not like the other rich guy he's a total douche. *Paid for by my rich guy friends*"

"What's Scrooge's favourite food? A humbug'er."