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Joke of the Day

"Zayn is leaving 1D. BBC sacked Jeremy Clarkson... Imagine the headlines ""New Top Gear host Zayn Malik"" ... ""New One Direction member Jeremy Clarkson"" :D"

"I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?' So he gave me a kite."

"Me: ""Excuse me, hi"" Her: ""Um, I have a boyfriend"" Me: ""Good for you. I was trying to say your herpes cream fell out of your purse"""

"Did you fall from the sky? Not because you look like an angel but because your face looks like you fell from a really high place ;)."

"What's the difference between a Malaysia Airline flight and Internet Explorer? None. Eventually, both of them are gonna crash."

"If you're a vegan w a gluten allergy who doesn't own a TV do you put it on a business card or just wait to force it into every conversation?"

"Did you hear about the guy who got fired from Crayola last week? He desecrated the holy crayon."

"Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them."

"I'm not saying you're fat, but you should consider having CPR instructions tattooed on your chest."

"From where did the sperm whale get it's name? Ask your grandparents."