224814

Joke of the Day

"Her: Is my new concealer working? Me: Who said that?"

"Why was Miss Piggy sick for her show? There was a frog in her throat."

"How did my operation go Doc? Dr ; What? Dr ; Omg I've only got half a colon?"

"The next time someone tells me they feel like a million bucks I'm going to try to deposit them into my checking account."

"Look Mr. Tech Support Dude, you asked if I had any more questions. Sorry if ""What are you wearing?"" wasn't what you had in mind."

"What is it like, to be standing at the foot of an empty grave, not knowing who will one day be in it? Unbereavable."

"Two men are pissing off a bridge. ""Water's cold"" says one. ""And deep."" says the other."

"Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Because it looks like you landed on your face."

"What's the difference between a gun and a penis I don't put a penis in my mouth every night and cry"

"What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it? Not much. It just gave a little whine."