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Joke of the Day
"What did Gandalf say to the guy with a shy bladder? ""You shall not piss."""
Next Joke
"MOVIES: Ok, time for bed kiddo. *child kisses parents and goes to bed MY HOUSE: Time for bed. *mixed martial acrobatics is now a sport"
"Next time you think you're weird think about how Walt Disney had a fetish for ducks and mice in high heels and shitload of mascara."
"Whats the difference between a noose and a leash? How high you tie it on a tree."
"Red-nosed Rudolph was hit by a 747 and a flock of seagulls on Christmas Eve during a gift delivery over Barcelona The reindeer in Spain was hit mainly by the plane (Courtesy of Colin Mochrie)"
"""Check out Zach Galifinapkins over here!"" - joke I have prepared if I ever see a bearded man holding a lot of napkins."
"What's Michael Jackson's favorite thing about twenty-eight year olds? There's 20 of them."
"How does an elephant hide in the jungle? It paints its balls red and climbs up a cherry tree. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherries."
"Did it ever occur to you that people with tear drop tattoos are just really sad?"
"What kind of car do ghosts drive? BOOgatti!"