224739

Joke of the Day

"It's incredible how many movies and tv-shows use Sandstorm by Darude in their soundtracks. YouTube commenters have been surprisingly helpful sourcing this information."

"Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold until your battery is dead."

"My mother retired and moved into a CVS."

"[NSFW] [NSFW] What do the Zika Virus and Catholic Priests have in common? They're both giving kids a little head all over Latin America."

"Have you heard the joke about the margarine? I'd tell it you but I prefer it unsaturated."

"Why can't you talk to spiders who get shut in pianos? They'll B flat"

"Why doesn't Ganon use the Internet? There were too many Links."

"How do you communicate with a fish? Drop him a line."

"My friend said that onions are the only food that makes you cry. So I killed his mom with a coconut."

"Statistically 60% of people use their mobile phone to cheat on their partners. Personally I prefer to use my pen!s."