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Joke of the Day

"Damn shame some of ya'll will get on twitter to say Goodmorning before even brushing your teeth. #mustymouthtweet"

"I put my earbuds on just like everybody else. Frantically as someone approaches."

"An Aborigine walks into a bar wearing one sandal. ' Lost a sandal dude??, ' asks the barman. ' Nah,found one, ' replies the Aborigen."

"My mind's telling me ""No!"" But my body, my body's telling me ""There's that chicken salad in the fridge."""

"What is in a virgin candy bar? Cherries and nuts"

"Dr: You've gained some weight Me: You said I should take it easy Dr: That was a yr ago & you were sick Me: WELL I'M NOT A MIND READER"

"How many doors are on a chicken coop? Two. If there were four, it would be a chicken sedan"

"Put the punchline in the title. How do you ruin a joke?"

"Why isn't Sean Connery an unmarried roofer? He's not a fan of the shingle life."

"I didn't want the cop to see that my car's registration tags weren't current but apparently swerving erratically got his attention too"