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Joke of the Day

"""Pres. Trump, how do you plan to respond to this attack on our soil?"" TRUMP: OK first, I've seen several people call me Tronald Dump online"

"Why did the hick move to a toxic waste dump after winning the lottery? They heard it was a Superfund site."

"FRIEND: haha she's so cutesay it for him honey HER TODDLER: the moon is cheeeeese ME: well what have we here, a tiny liar"

"Rant ""What do we want!?"" ""No daylight savings!"" ""When do we want it!?"" ""An hour ago!!!"""

"Elephant and a naked man An elephant walks up to a man who was not wearing clothes and asked, ""How do you breathe out of that thing??"""

"""Let's sleep in when we can't sleep in, and not sleep in when we can sleep in"" - children"

"I love my kids but sometimes I wish the school bus would pick them up at 4:30 p.m. on Sunday."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the restroom? Because they're extinct"

"Understanding women is like... Smelling the color 3."

"Did you know LSD can make you lose weight? Because you can't get to the fridge if there's a dragon guarding it."