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Joke of the Day

"So I bought some shoes off my drug dealer. And I'm not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"What do you call a little person who can talk to ghosts and just escaped from prison? A small medium at large."

"Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites? Because they can lie about their age!"

"goals for 2016: 1) spend more time with my son 2) learn about his fav video games 3) defeat him 4) become video game household champion"

"30 And to his followers he said, ""Beliebers, weep not for me but yourselves and your children; for they'll never get to see me in concert."""

"Whoever invented ""copy and paste"" should never have to go more than 2 hours without someone's lips around his wiener."

"Statistically speaking..... Isn't a mean Joe just an average Joe?"

"Spooning leads to forking But if you fork the wrong dish, you could get knifed."

"why don't blind people skydive? Its scares the heck out of the dog."

"The school wants to test my kid for gifted but the program doesn't have ""my kid is gifted"" bumper stickers, so, like, what's the point?"