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Joke of the Day

"When someone cries, ""No one gets me"" I immediately snatch them and put them in my trunk and yell, ""I got you""!"

"I don't want to make a political joke It might get elected as president of the United States"

"So I invented a new beef and vegetable recipe, but it wasn't so great... It was meaty-okra."

"What is College Feminism? What is college feminism? 10.000 women who took Gender Studies to figure out why there aren't enough female engineers"

"A man goes to the vet about his dog's fleas. The vet says: 'I'm sorry, I'll have to put this dog down.' The man is incredulous and asks why. The vet says: 'Because he's far too heavy.'"

"What's a pirate's favorite letter?"

"Where did the word ""etymology"" come from?"

"What nationality are Sprinters? They Russian. I'll also see myself out."

"It's impressive how within three minutes of crawling into bed your brain can remind you of 23,472 things going wrong with your life."

"What did Kim say when she found an armpit hair in her margarine container? ... I can't believe it's not butt-hair"