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Joke of the Day

"I told my date I was depressed. I added, ""not like cut my inner thigh depressed, but sleep with you even though I don't like you depressed."""

Next Joke
 
"Saw a guy missing his left arm and leg, and asked how he was doing. ""Eh, I'm alright."""
"Why shouldn't girls wear duck pants You can see their quack"
"Lawyers out there, if I see any of my Tweets being used on Comedy Central can I sue..... Oh you don't think that will ever be an issue, okay"
"What's the funniest thing the rock said to the geologist ? Nothing. Because rocks don't talk and geology's not funny."
"I lost my virginity to my teacher yesterday. Unfortunately, I'm home-schooled."
"What do you call a bell which doesn't do it's work? A rebell"
"I may not be the sharpest sandwich in the tree, but put my pants on one sleeve at a time just like you. Do you have any cookies?"
"Whenever I test drive a car and the Salesman decides to come along, I lock the doors lock eyes and say ""We ride together, we Die together."""
"How does Samuel L Jackson create fire with an orange? He uses Pulp Friction"