8492

Joke of the Day

"I got caught making out with my cousin once - mum and dad went mental. In my defence we were just kids, and there was an awful lot of alcohol at her funeral."

"Did you hear about the businessman who is so rich he has two swimming pools one of which is always empty? It's for people who can't swim!"

"Why are black people always wrong? They have no rights."

"How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb? nun"

"She said she liked bad boys. So I de-alphabetized her DVD's and set fire to her little yippie dogs. Still didn't get laid. Fucking women."

"That whole ""letting go"" of your ex is always more satisfying when they're dangling over an abyss."

"NSFW What's the difference between sex and lunch? Depends on where you put the cucumber. Worked in a fruit and veg shop, guy stopped me packing cucumbers to tell me that."

"East and West Germany In West Germany your job determines your Marks. In East Germany Marx determines your job."

"Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was outstanding in his field."

"What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-oh acid"