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Joke of the Day

"My math teacher told me that 3/5 of the kids in my class don't understand fractions Thankfully I'm a part of the other 3/5."

"Odd numbers bother me. Except 75. 75 you're ok."

"What's the difference between a Pound and a Dollar? A dollar"

"To err is human To arrrgh is pirate"

"""This is NPR."" Yeah, we know. You just spent the past 4 minutes whispering the news over a jazz saxophone solo."

"Do you know why super villains are so good at math? Because of all their practice plotting."

"People think it's okay to drive like assholes until we end up at a stoplight together and I'm dropping my rottweiler through their sunroof."

"*I look into abyss* *Abyss looks at me* *Abyss blinking message in Morse code* *I go off to learn Morse* *I return* ""Why do we park in a dri"

"""Did you realise that a woman's ""I'll be ready in five minutes"" and a man's ""I'll be home in five minutes"" are exactly the same?"""

"Doctor doctor I've only got 59 seconds to live. Wait a minute please."