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Joke of the Day

"Do you know why super villains are so good at math? Because of all their practice plotting."

"*coroner takes picture of my body after I'm brutally murdered* Me: delete it"

"If you get sexted by someone you don't like...does that mean you got molexted?"

"What is literally the most important fact you'll ever learn, that will totally blow your mind? That people exaggerate."

"Sorry, Australia... Overheard my sister talking to my friend when this was said. Sis: ""Do they have bush babies in Australia""? Friend: ""No, but they have plenty of dead babies in the bush""."

"Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ? Pupil: I get up early !"

"""So you think you can dance."" should be the title of a Lifetime movie about strippers."

"The first 36 years of my childhood have been the hardest."

"[True story] Saw a guy in a wheelchair going into the gym. .. My first thought was, ""well I guess he won't be doing legs today."" I'll show myself out."

"New procedure The hospital in my town is becoming pretty progressive and added a new procedure targeted towards transgender women, it's called addadicktome."