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Joke of the Day

"[hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*"

"What kind of fish will help you hear better ? A herring aid !"

"Whats similar between a hurricane and women? They come in hot and wet and leave with **THE LAWN CHAIRS WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARA YOU BITCH!**"

"How much does a moil get paid for circumcision? Ninety-nine dollars plus tips."

"There's a restaurant in hell. Their food is to die for."

"Volkswagen just introduced a new electric car... It's called the Volts Wagon."

"Why do 9 out of 10 bear moms prefer minivans over sedans? All the extra cubholders."

"The barman says ""We don't serve time travelers here."" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"Why did Gigi leave the party angrily? Because she's Hadid."

"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"