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Joke of the Day

"Kim Kardashian was robbed of her jewellry in Paris. The robbers had a tip off that she had lots of booty."

"me: good morning, Linda Linda, my co-worker who backpacked through Europe: Not as nice as the sunrises you can see looking out from Venice"

"News has just come in that The Mars Rover has discovered a member of the feline species while exploring. Unfortunately, Curiosity killed the cat. Edit: this is /u/Onetap1's joke, credit goes to him"

"Hitler killed himself for only for one reason He saw his gas bills Also, He said Pass the juice, not Gas the Jews. *not meaning to be rude to anyone who is a jew as this is a joke*"

"What do you call someone who takes everything literally? A kleptomaniac!"

"Why don't you ask about the home life of a filing cabinet? It's usually a sorted affair."

"When you hear ""I do not love you but we can be friends"" it's like... your mother says ""Your dog died but you can keep it""."

"Have you heard of probability before? The student replied, ""probably"""

"The hardest part about dying is finding a body double to sit in a coffin for you while you take off to party island."

"Why don't male dogs date? They think all women are bitches. ... Dogs are terrible people."