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Joke of the Day

"I hate when people read over my shoulder while I'm texting. 2 car lengths please Mr. Policeman."

"Is it blowjob, blow job, or blow-job? God, I hate writing thank you letters."

"I once submitted 10 puns to a contest to see which one would win. No pun in 10 did."

"What is that the more you desire, the less you can get? Beautiful girls."

"My parents didn't love me as a kid My bath toys were a toaster and a hair dryer"

"As an american, I feel really sorry for the Canadians up north. I mean, how do they even live if their summer is 30 degrees?"

"Christmas Presents To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present... They are due back at the library today."

"My dad installed new LED bulbs in his home. I started seeing him in a new light after that."

"Q: Why did the barber win the race? A: He knew a short cut."

"And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.. .. but John came fifth and won a toaster"