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Joke of the Day

"Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest natural resources which must be preserved at all costs."

"Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey? He didn't like getting nailed to the boards."

"Q: What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket? A: Married."

"Two tomatoes cross the street Two tomatoes cross the street. One of the tomatoes gets hit by a car, and the other tomatoe goes ""Aw, come on... Catch up!"""

"Now I can't wear my nude crystal dress this weekend. Thanks, Rihanna."

"We're like lazy revolutionaries who act only by posting lame comments on a public forum."

"95% of every relationship is navigating the question ""Where should we eat?"" without it turning into World War III."

"Birthdays they keep track of how long you've been alive And how long you haven't been inside a vagina"

"Request: Gimme your best white people jokes. Why does everybody else get the brunt of the jokes? Let me hear something different."

"I was seeing this one girl for two months Until she found out I was there."