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Joke of the Day

"I got fired from my bingo calling job today. Apparently 'a meal for two with a terrible view' is not an appropriate way to call 69."

"I just wrote go f*** yourself on a piece of paper and put it in the suggestion box at work."

"(From my 7 year old) Why should you never give Queen Elsa a balloon? Because she'll just let it go."

"I hate Russian nesting dolls They're so full of themselves"

"You know how you can tell a Black Bear from a Grizzly? Black Bears smoke Newports."

"Just introduced my teen daughter to Monty Python, thus completing my duties as a father. I will now retire to Florida and await grandkids."

"What's small, purple and dangerous? A grape with a gun"

"A new study has found that women with larger butts live longer than men who mention it."

"I'm not paying any more child support. His posture hasn't improved at all."

"If a fish was trying to catch humans, what would the sport be called? Bass Murderering"